Q: WHAT IS THE MULLET ? Back in the mists of time, when A Flock of Seagulls ruled the earth and fannypacks were socially acceptable, the height of fashion was a haircut that was short on the top and sides and long in the back. There were many variations on the theme, from straight and feathered to a permed cascade, as evidenced by Mel Gibson "Lethal Weapon" movies, Pat Benatar videos and a million high school yearbooks. But gradually, of course, tastes changed and there came a point when the coolest kids in class were no longer sporting this particular coiffure. But a strange phenomenon began to occur - the "do" refused to die and the Mullet was born. Q. WHO WEARS THE MULLET ? All professional wrestlers ... everyone in country music videos ... stumpy weightlifters in vests and those baggy, elasticated-waist pants ... South American soccer players ... a high proportion of suspects on any given episode of "Cops" ... people who shout "rock 'n' roll" and then stick their tongues out ... and a veritable army of fashion refuseniks across this great nation and beyond. At any county fair, any swap meet, any bus terminal, the Mullet will be there. Q. HOW WILL I IDENTIFY THE MULLET ? The Mullet straddles age, gender and social boundaries, and goes by many names: "bi-level" ... "camaro cut" ... "mudflap" ... "beaver paddle" ... "Canadian Passport" ... "business in the front, party in the back" ... "achy-breaky-big-mistakey" ... "Kentucky Waterfall," "Tennessee Tophat" and "Missouri Compromise." To help you spot the Mullet, some of the many variations are pictured here. Q. WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT THE MULLET ? Nothing. Resistance is futile, Mullets rule. A year from now, we'll all be wearing one ... again. © STEVE McGARRY & RICK STROMOSKI Distributed by UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE